


A Skit to Remember

by BillHadersLamestFan (JenTheSnarryShipper)



Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Saturday Night Live, Saturday Night Live RPF, Saturday Night Live Sketches, US Comedians RPF
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Sethon - Freeform, Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 05:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20829839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenTheSnarryShipper/pseuds/BillHadersLamestFan
Summary: This is about Bill Hader and Seth Meyers, post SNL (Saturday Night Live) and post Stefon sketches.  Bill and Seth come to a realization about their sexuality.  Disclaimer: I do not know either of these people in real life, so this is obviously fictional.





	A Skit to Remember

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not know either of these people in real life, so this is obviously fictional. This is also not a real depiction of either Bill or Seth's actual sexual orientation. 
> 
> Just a fun piece I was inspired to write. Hope you all like it! <3 I'm a huge fan of Bill Hader.

_A Skit to Remember_

_“Hey man—relax,”_ _the man smiled genuinely, “you always do great.”_

_Bill didn’t say anything. He couldn’t stop staring at the other man’s beautiful smile, blue eyes, and such a charming boyish face. He finally cleared his throat and said, “Stop, Seth.” He made himself sound like Stefon. He put his hands over his mouth._

_Seth cocked his head a little, giving him a slightly confused look. He put his hands on Bill’s shoulders, which made him shudder. Seth figured it was from his anxiety. He rubbed his shoulders a bit, looking into Bill’s eyes. _

_“Into character already, huh?” He said gently._

_Stefon nodded slowly, his hands still over his mouth. Seth moved his hands onto Bill’s, taking them away from his face. _

_“Seth…” Stefon said, in character. “We’re not even on the air yet.”_

_Seth looked at him as if they were really on set, when there was so much passion, heat in his eyes. “Kiss me, I’m Irish.”_

_Stefon—no—Bill laughed, breaking, like he always did. “Oh, I get it, you’re trying to make me lau—” He was cut off by Seth’s hot, demanding lips. Bill made a small moaning sound, kissing Seth back, not like Stefon would, but rather, how Bill had always wanted to kiss him. Their breathing got so erratic, and Bill knew he should have been anxious about going on air soon, but Seth was such a great kisser…_

The alarm clock was beeping.

Bill awoke with a gasp, turning off the alarm.

“Fuck…” He whispered. _Same dream._ He was sweating all over, and his shirt was drenched. He looked at the clock. _10:00AM_. He let out a breath of air and threw back the blankets. 

He hissed as his feet hit the cold floor. He realized he forgot to turn on the heat last night. After all, that’s what his ex-wife always remembered to do. Or at least his kids would have complained about how cold it was in the house.

But he was on his own, at least for a few more days, until it was his turn to watch the kids. 

Bill rubbed his eyes and turned on the heat, cursing as he stepped on a little Lego-block. “Goddamnit!”

He made his way into the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cupboard, and filled it with water. While he was drinking it, all he could think about was his dream. _Seth_. He shivered, remembering the kiss they’d shared—and not just the one from his persistent dream.

He was gazing at the countertop when he saw a flashing light in his peripheral vision. His phone was ringing. 

He went over to the coffee-table to grab it, but when he saw who it was, he nearly dropped the damned thing. He caught it though, accidentally pressing the green button. “Oh, shit! Fuck!” He whispered to himself. 

“Bad time?” Seth’s voice said, smooth as ever.

“Oh, you heard that?” Bill said, laughing. 

“Yeah…now I know how you _really_ feel about me.” Seth said jokingly. 

Bill laughed hard, “No, no! I almost dropped my phone!” 

Seth chuckled, “Hmm. Likely story.” He heard Bill’s laugh, which only made him laugh more.

Bill started, “So, what’s up man?”

“Well,” Seth paused, “it’s almost our anniversary.”

Bill clapped his hand over his mouth. He couldn’t believe Seth said that—right after his dream? No way.

“Uh…” He muttered. “W-w-what do you mean?” Bill said in his Stefon voice, somehow, despite his racing heart.

“_Stefon_! Don’t tell me you forgot about our wedding anniversary!” He joked.

“_Seth._ I could never forget!” Bill laughed. “No, but seriously…do you want to do something, or?”

“Actually,” Seth said, hoping Bill didn’t notice how nervous he was, “I was wondering if you wanted to come over. We could catch up, maybe have some fish tacos?”

Bill was nearly laughing at that. “Fish _tacos_? That’s oddly specific, Seth. What do you have up your sleeve?”

Seth laughed once, “Wait, I thought you liked them! You said so in an interview!”

Bill thought his heart stopped. _He watches my interviews?_ “Well, as long as I’m with you, Sethie, I’d even eat lamb on a pizza.”

He almost heard Seth’s beaming smile when he said, “Great! What time is good for you?”

Bill noticed his own hands were shaking. “Uh…let’s see. I’m free all afternoon. How does 6 o’clock sound?”

Seth sighed of relief, “Sounds good. Okay, I’ll see you then.”

“_Until then, my love_.” Bill said, as Stefon, then hung up. 

He had an epiphany right then—maybe _this_ was why he kept having that dream! Because of their anniversary. 

That was a good enough reason for him. 

**BH/SM/BH/SM**

After playing some foosball, eating fish tacos (followed by a _lot_ of mints), and a few beers, Seth sat down with him on the couch. 

“Wait, I have something…” He went into the other room and found a nicely wrapped present. “It’s for you. Happy anniversary.”

Bill slapped his shoulder. “Seriously? Thanks, man—oh, I didn’t even get you anything…”

Seth said, “Don’t worry about it! Just open it, open it!” He said excitedly.

Bill tore open the wrapping paper, opening the box. “Oh my god, Seth.” He said softly. It was a picture of their infamous kiss in a nice frame. “Thank you _so_ much…”

When he looked up at Seth, he felt like something was different. There was a fluttering in his stomach—and it wasn’t the fish tacos. Something else…he couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

It was Seth’s eyes. He looked serious and caring, all of a sudden. “I’m glad you like it.” He smiled softly. “Flip it over.”

Bill’s hands were shaking. On the back, he read aloud, “Kiss me, I’m Irish.” 

Before he could make a witty comment, Seth was suddenly leaning forward, whispering softly, “If you insist…” His lips felt just like they did before, in his dream. Soft, demanding. Bill was so shocked, at first, he couldn’t even kiss Seth back.

Seth took Bill’s stillness as a sign of disinterest, so he backed off. 

He cleared his throat, “Had to keep up the tradition, you know?” He looked away. 

Bill set the frame to the side, then grabbed Seth’s head like he did in their skit. He kissed him in earnest, this time. He shakily raised one of his hands to touch Seth’s cheek. But, this time, he wasn’t doing it for show.

Seth didn’t want Bill to stop, but he had to make sure this wasn’t a dream. When they parted, Seth gasped, “Bill…”

Bill breathed, “Yeah?” His voice was so soft against his parted lips. 

Seth stared into Bill’s eyes with self-doubt—which was quite rare for Seth. “Is this…I mean…is this okay?” He gripped Bill’s hand on his cheek, kissing his palm briefly. His cheeks were a little red.

Bill had heard from the tabloids that Seth had also just broken it off with his now ex-wife, and he wondered if maybe they were waiting for each other to be available. His mind was cloudy, though, and he didn’t know what to make of this situation. He just knew that he couldn’t deny his racing heart, or his true feelings, for Seth Meyers.

“Seth…” Bill whispered, shaking his head, “I’ve always…ever since we kissed on SNL…”

“So…you’re not straight?” Seth asked, genuinely wanting to know.

Bill sighed, looking down. “Honestly, I don’t think I am. I might be bi.” He thought about that. “How long…have you…had feelings for me, Seth?”

“Uhm…” Seth turned red. “I think, maybe, since you kissed me on set. I was so…” His voice trailed off, and he looked up at Bill, whose blue eyes were lit with passion.

Bill knew exactly what Seth meant, but he’d never dreamed either of them would be able to admit it. 

“I was too.” Bill said quickly, before taking Seth’s mouth again. He kissed him how he’d always wanted to kiss him. Then he murmured, “Now I know why you gave me all those mints…”

Seth couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss. They both smiled, kissing each other. Bill always got him going, he was so fucking hilarious.

“Didn’t want to…taste like fish tacos…” Seth murmured back, as Bill was laughing. They continued to kiss. Bill let Seth run a hand up his back, through his hair. Bill kissed him back with vigor, doing the same movements that Seth did, only his hand was drifting lower. When his hand trailed across Seth’s erection, they both shivered. Bill’s dark steamy expression looked almost dangerous.

“Where do we go?” Bill said, deciding to kiss Seth’s neck. Seth could hardly think, breathe, or do anything with Bill Hader kissing him on his neck like _that_. 

“Ohhh, god. My room…down the hall…” Bill laughed against his neck and whispered, “past the freeway, on the left exit?” Then he went back to kissing him.

Seth looked at Bill with a large smile. “Promise me that you’re not going to become a character when we…have sex.” _Wow, that felt weird to say aloud_, Seth thought. Then he added, “I like you as yourself, Bill Hader.”

Bill kissed his way to Seth’s lips again. “Deal. No more jokes…I’m just nervous.” _Then again, what else is new,_ Bill thought. 

Seth kissed him back once and said, “Hey man,” Bill brought his eyes up to look at Seth as he said, “Don’t worry…you’ll do great.”

They stared at each other for a little while in admiration, and Bill suddenly stood up, lending a hand to Seth. Seth took it. 

They finally got to Seth’s bedroom. Seth shut the door, thinking, _I can’t believe I just said that, as if we were in the damned skit…_

When Seth turned around, Bill put a hand onto the door beside him, the other one stroking his face. “You’ve always believed in me.” 

Seth was in such a haze, he didn’t even know what to say. “Bill Hader, you’ve never needed me, you had it in you all along—” but he was cut off by the pair of demanding lips. Seth moaned into the kiss, turning his head to the side, wrapping his arms around Bill. 

Bill and Seth stumbled over to the bed—Bill pushed Seth onto the sheets. He started to take off his shirt. “I needed you then, and I need you now, Seth.” Bill practically ripped off his shirt—the plaid one with the buttons—and Seth started taking off his long sleeve shirt that he was wearing.

Seth had started to undo his belt when Bill had finally gotten off his undershirt. “Wait.” He heard Bill say. “Let me?”

Seth nodded. _Wow_, he thought. “Oh god…you look amazing.” Oh shit, he hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Bill looked at him and raised his brows. “Me? Look at you…” He ran his hands up and down his chest. “So fit.” Then he took a nipple in his mouth.

Seth gasped, “Oh…fuck…” That felt _so_ good. Bill licked his nipple and teased it with his teeth. God, Seth was so hard, he thought he might cum in his pants.

“Bill…” he whined, as he felt Bill Hader undo his belt, tossing it somewhere, unzipping his jeans. He took off Seth’s shoes and socks hurriedly before slipping off the jeans. Seth’s erection was tented in his boxers. 

Bill looked into Seth’s eyes and then down, as he revealed Seth’s large member, already dripping with pre-cum. Without even thinking, Bill grabbed Seth’s erection and sucked the tip to taste it. Seth made a whimpering sound. Bill looked up at Seth, who looked extremely far-gone, to his pleasure.

Seth couldn’t help but moan loudly when Bill sucked his entire length. “_Ohhhh, Bill!”_

Bill moaned around the hard dick in his mouth, feeling Seth put a hand on his head. He looked up at Seth, who was babbling, “Oh, god, oh Bill! You’ll make me cum! In your mouth—oh, fuck, feels so good…”

But Bill wanted to make Seth cum in his mouth. He kept going, kept sucking, but Seth said, “Stop—Bill! I want…to cum with you. I want to cum when you’re _inside_ me.” His eyes were steamy with passion, and he was sweating, trying to keep himself from coming.

Bill thought that was the sexiest thing anyone had ever told him. “Oh…you don’t think I could make you cum twice?”

Seth cracked a smile, “You’re probably the only one who could, but I’d rather not test it. We’re both too old to cum twice.”

Bill smiled and came up to kiss Seth, with pre-cum still on his tongue, “Speak for yourself, old man…” Their kiss was long and passionate. Seth pulled at Bill’s pants, while they gave each other tongue, tasting each other. Seth stopped kissing Bill long enough to unzip his jeans and reveal his huge dick. 

“_Wow_.” Seth said, before taking Bill down to the root. Bill’s eyes practically rolled back, and his hands were on Seth’s head. “Holy fuck! Seth! Oh fuck!”

Seth was the one to moan with cock in his mouth this time. It tasted so sweet and salty. And Bill was growing in his mouth, which was so satisfying. It made him even harder.

Bill groaned as he watched Seth slowly suck his dick, looking up at him with those gorgeous blue eyes. “Seth…oh my god, Seth I’ll cum if you keep that up!”

Seth gave another lick to the underside of Bill’s cock. “Now who’s the old man?” He sucked on Bill’s balls. Bill almost lost control, gripping Seth’s hair. 

Seth came up to kiss him, surprised by Bill’s force. Bill gripped his ass cheeks, rubbing Seth’s hole with a finger. Seth moaned, “Lube.” 

Bill grunted, “Where?” He looked around the room. 

Seth went over to the bed-side drawer, handing Bill the tube of lubricant. “Here…”

They both sat down on the bed, finally, making out again. Seth was the first to lie down, and Bill got on top of him, rutting against him. 

“Have you ever…I mean, with a guy…?” Bill asked nervously. 

Seth mapped Bill’s bottom lip with his forefinger, “No. Only you.”

Bill had to kiss him after that line. _Only you_. “Me either…Seth?” He began to ask, then shook his head, popping open the lube. “Nevermind.”

“What is it?” Seth asked, concernedly, rubbing a couple fingers along Bill’s cheek. 

“Spread your legs,” Bill whispered in Seth’s ear. For now he decided to let that lingering almost-question go, and he almost changed his mind, until Seth felt a hot tongue lapping at his hole. It felt _so_ unbelievably good. Better than he ever would have imagined. And then…Bill stroked his cock.

“_BILL_.” Seth whimpered loudly. Bill’s tongue was feeling around, with Seth’s toe’s curled at both sides of him. Bill’s whole body trembled in delight when he heard Seth say his name like that. He decided to lubricate a finger, slowly inserting it inside Seth’s tight ass.

He worked fast—he had to, if he didn’t want to cum prematurely. Seth’s moans were driving him wild. By the time he had three full fingers in Seth, both men were sweating. “Please…” Seth begged, “I don’t care if it hurts. I just want you in me, Bill.”

Bill thought he had lost consciousness, but apparently not, because his hand found the lube once more to slick his hard cock, and before entering Seth, he kissed him fiercely. “Seth Meyers…” He whispered, now poised at his opening.

Slowly, he pushed forward, with Seth’s legs spread open. God…he’d never fucked _anyone_ so tight. No woman could compare to this. “Seth—you okay?” Bill asked, trying to keep it together.

Seth nodded, his expression a little pained. Bill grabbed Seth’s erection and pumped it to life again as he slowly moved. He wanted to make this enjoyable for Seth. 

Finally, Bill was fully inside him. Seth’s legs were wrapped around Bill, and both men were breathing hard in each other’s ears. Seth kissed Bill, gasping between kisses, “_Fuck me_.”

Bill couldn’t help but move at that request, his lips just grazing Seth’s. He gasped as he pushed into Seth, who groaned beneath him. He did the same motion, except that this time, Seth made a whiny sound, followed by, “_OhhH!_”

Bill had found his prostate. He nailed that spot again, kissing Seth’s neck, unsure of how much longer he could hold on. “Ohhhh, Seth…Seth Meyers…” Seth’s channel felt so fucking tight, tighter by the second. 

“Bill—” Seth whispered in his ear hotly, “Oh Bill…I’ll cum if you do that again…”

Then, Bill got an idea. “Do what, _Seth Meyers_?” He said, in his Stefon voice. 

Seth whimpered, “Bill…that! Oh, _that_!”

Bill couldn’t keep himself from pounding Seth now, fucking him in earnest. Seth looked at him like he had almost lost control. The thumping of the bed against the wall, the sound of skin slapping against skin, and the heat in their eyes were throwing both men over the edge. 

Then, suddenly, Seth arched, gripping Bill with his arms and legs, trying to get more of him inside. Bill pounded into him hard and grabbed Seth’s cock just in time to bring Seth to climax. But, before that could happen, Bill decided he wanted to tell Seth something. 

Bill whispered in Seth’s ear, “_I love you, Seth Meyers._”

Seth’s mouth was open, like he was silently screaming, with Bill pumping his dick while stream after stream of thick cum came rushing out of him. The hot sticky fluid bathed both men’s stomachs, one strand even coming up to Bill’s nipple.

Bill watched Seth’s beautiful face as he came, and he couldn’t hold on either. He remembered when Seth said he wanted to cum with Bill. Thinking about that sent him over the edge. 

“_Sethhhh!_” Bill shouted, arching into him, pumping thick fluid into his hole. “_Ohhh fuck!_” Bill whimpered, as he was still coming hard, looking into Seth’s steamy half-lidded eyes.

Bill looked down at their bodies almost in disbelief, then turned his attention to Seth’s face, making a desperate whine before kissing him again.

Bill pulled out of Seth as gently as he could, and then Seth surprised him by licking his own cum off of Bill’s nipple. Bill stroked Seth’s hair, whispering, “_You are amazing…_”

Then, Bill remembered what he had said earlier, that he loved Seth. He suddenly got anxious. 

Seth felt Bill’s tension. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He wore a tired, yet concerned look.

“Well…what I said earlier…” Bill started, but couldn’t finish.

Seth flipped Bill over, to Bill’s surprise, and cupped Bill’s cheeks. He said, “I love you, Bill Hader.” He kissed Bill like Stefon had once kissed him. But, this time, it was real.

They both smiled into the kiss. Bill started to chuckle, “I think that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Seth raised a brow. “You _think_?”

“Okay, okay! You’re the best lay ever, Seth!” He threw up his hands and rolled his eyes jokingly.

“That’s better.” Seth said, chuckling. “Hey…uhm…”

“Hmm?” Bill said, removing his head from Seth’s chest, to lie next to him, looking into his eyes.

“I-I was wondering…if you’d be open to…you know, doing this again?”

“Like, right now?” Bill said excitedly, but then started laughing. Seth looked relieved, “So, you were serious when you said…when you said that…you love me?”

Bill blushed, surprised he still _could_ blush. “Yeah. I do. I love you, Seth.” He paused, “Wait…were you serious?”

“No-no-no-I was serious too! I love you, Bill.” Seth said. Bill’s heart skipped a beat. “I can’t believe that we’re finally…really together.” Bill said, kissing Seth on the lips once.

“I should have asked you out a long time ago…but…” Seth hesitated, “I was so dedicated to being straight.”

Bill nodded, “So was I. Good thing we’re both divorced to our ex-wives.” Seth laughed, “Still, this is all really new to both of us…and I know how sometimes you get anxious. I just want to say that I want to be here for you, if you ever get anxious.”

That warmed Bill’s heart. He hugged Seth and kissed his neck. “Thanks man. I’m sure it’ll happen again.” He cracked.

Seth kissed Bill. “Maybe our sex cured you.”

Bill laughed hard at that, “HAH! That would be _awesome_.”

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll need persistent treatment…” Seth joked.

Bill looked at him with a sexy glint in his eyes, “Yeah, maybe you’ll have to suck me three times a day, every day, for the rest of my life.”

Seth chuckled, “I could think of worse things.”

_Fin_.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you liked it! <3 No hate please. I don't make any money from this, I just do it for fun.


End file.
